I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
