At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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