you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
