woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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