Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Randomize
