I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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