Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
