It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize