it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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