That's intense
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
