Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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