I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How does it feel to date your dad?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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