She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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