She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
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