You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
