No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You don't make any sense
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