He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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