I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Its about making memories worth repressing
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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