It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
