i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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