But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
