Ambien. No doubt about it.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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