Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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