Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
