Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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