I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I think people are normalizing furries
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
