I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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