I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I didn't notice because vodka
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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