I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
