It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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