using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
