Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I currently don't understand fingers.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
