Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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