Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize