tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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