I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
