I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
