i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
