a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
