Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
