If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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