The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
