I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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