addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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