Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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