I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
