I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
