she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
