instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
