Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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