he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
