I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize