I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
