Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
