There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
