He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize