Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize