He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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